It’s been awhile since I’ve last written here. And my heart tells me there’s a good reason for that.
Stepping back to take a look over the last couple of months it is all summed up in the sense that practice of presence has brought clarity.
Presence. This beautiful thing I have been practicing, processing, and learning to accept.
I am not sure why it took so long to come to such a pivotal point in my life where this was my greatest focus; but I am learning that is apart of this process too. Our lives our continuously ebbing and flowing as we face our journeys ahead. By accepting myself I have found grace in the ebb & flow of life to replace the stress and anxiety I once felt. It takes repetition, but I now know that I am enough and I always have been.
Where it used to be this constant go, go, go, I find myself taking a step back. The beauty of it all is that rather than doing less, I am doing more. I am more aware, more grateful, more awake to embrace the life in front of me because I know that I am enough. And all of that is a hell of a lot more valuable than any completed to do list.
Now that I take some time to reflect on what was the cause in all this, I realize it was and is a shift in my thinking thanks to not only myself, but the lives of others that have walked in. I’ve allowed myself to accept anger, frustration, confusion, and any feelings that I have covered up to get by. In big transitions in life (in my case a move to L.A., a start and then change of jobs, and hardships for the lives around me) I tend to mask how I feel. Brooke is always the positive one, so that’s who I tried to get by being. Low and behold, that can only last so long.
Instead, life takes authenticity. Sticking true to who you are and actually figuring that out. It’s going with your gut instinct, asking questions, and admitting when you’re wrong. Most importantly, it’s sharing that journey with others. Sharing your story and how you actually really feel (not what you think everyone wants to hear). And it’s accepting the moments where you accidentally let your ego come in front of your heart. You’ll find your heart knows the good, but we tend to let our ego get in the way. But by practicing presence with yourself and tuning into how you actually feel, your life becomes rich; full of valuable moments. It is about appreciating the importance of yourself and the relationships you build with others.
While I’m thrilled and intrigued by this chapter in my journey, I remind myself that this is all apart of the ebb & flow of life. There are many great things to come. And I pray that I can continue to accept them with an open, present heart knowing that I am and always have been enough.
Love Defies 